Tag Archives: Truth

Doing the Splits

My chin is hovering over my knee cap. As I look over my extended leg I see my neatly painted toes. They’re shaking. Come to think of it, my entire body is shaking as I hold the position. I’m almost there. I can basically feel the carpet underneath me, and yet, there is space, a gap of air. Mocking me.

A 30-day journey to the splits taunts me. Day one, two, and three, have come and gone. Just like the weekend. Friday, Saturday, and Sunday have all passed and now I’m left with Monday and the start of the work week.

Life is like doing the splits. Each day, I inch closer and closer to my desired position, yet I reside in a place where a breath of air separates me from the ground, from my dreams. I continue to push and strain, and push and strain, but I’m exhausted. All I want to do is lie on the ground and watch time pass above me, but I have to push. I have to gain an inch, then another. If I don’t, I’ll feel static. Like the grey walls surrounding me.

Today is day four, another day that I get just a little bit closer to the ground. I long to sit comfortably, with my legs stretching out on either side of my body. It’s funny. Once I achieve this, I’ll have to keep at it. I still can’t just stop and stare at the clouds. I have to keep lengthening, keep doing the splits day in and day out.

Even as I keep stretching, pushing, I can feel myself being pulled too thin. It’s as if each leg is an extension of my body, of my efforts, being pulled like Gumby.

I guess I’ll just have to learn to do the splits while watching the clouds pass over me in a timeless moment.


The Illusory Light

As the paint-soaked brush lightly glossed the enamel of my nails, I felt the cool purple color brighten up my mood. Until, my mother said, “You’re painting your nails pink?! You hate pink!” I was so confused as what I had originally seen as a bright purple quickly changed before my eyes into a hot pink. How disgusting. And then I noticed the light. As I went from room to room, outdoors to indoors, I noticed that the nail polish looked different. It was pink in some instances, and the desired purple in others. I ended up removing the color after a couple of days because of the bad lighting that shown pink.

I can’t help but wonder if this is how I look to people. On some days they see me in good lighting and on others I’m that ugly shade of pink. I want to be their favorite color every single day, a ray of light in the gloomiest of times. Days pass where I know I’m just a robot, going through the motions, walking without shine like a dirty, dull penny. At the end of the day, I can’t help but ask. Did I even say hi to them? Did I smile? Did I try to bring them hope? I took off that nail polish. What if someone decides to take me off? To take me out of their life?

Today, my nails are colorless and I am satisfied. They are natural. They don’t shine or sparkle, but they feel like me. Today is a clean start. I’m radiating my natural light. I’m hoping I shine to you. I’m hoping I can shine through you. And that you can spread that shine through someone else.

Photo by Josh Boot on Unsplash

OMG is that Nick Jonas ?! #fangirl #crying #peeing

Imagine. An average citizen walks into a predominantly vacant café they frequent on a weekly basis. Expecting nothing out of the norm, they place their routine order, a Panini and a peppermint mocha latte, when a highly established, otherworldly celebrity figure enters the vicinity. As their eyes meet, recognition hits the café regular, now star-struck, customer square in the face. Something ignites within the salivating customer, emotions of excitement, hesitation, and denial, all of which can cause an unwanted scene. This eruption of emotions happens to even the most reserved people when they come in contact with a celebrity, especially one they admire.
“Fangirling” exists as an increasingly recognized social phenomenon that occurs when an overzealous individual, males included despite the terminology, completely “freaks out” when they see or talk about celebrities.
Three levels of fandom exist: entertainment-social, intense-personal, and borderline-pathological. The first involves minimal levels of celebrity worship through reading up on and gossiping about favorite stars with following their accomplishments and appearances via mass media mediums. To envision that a special bond exists between the fan and the celebrity results in the completion of the second stage, also known as the “para-social” interaction stage. The final stage progresses into obsession, stalking, and delusional feelings like the celebrity knows the fanatic on a personal level (Maltby, 27-29). These three stages of celebrity worship syndrome start out with innocent admiration and, in some cases, evolve into dangerous psychological mind games.
Celebrity worship advances through emotional contagion. When one acts as a dedicated fan to a socially recognized celebrity who another individual likes, then that individual acts like the initial dedicated fan to prove his or her equal devotion. Let’s take Miley Cyrus for example. Say an avid fan set Cyrus a fan letter package including a puppy and some joint papers. Another fan finds out and decides to one-up them by sending a puppy, joint papers, and actual weed, all of which would make the singer very happy.
A trending amateur-created “emoji” also exhibits the unhealthy, over-melodramatic state fans can reach, with hearts for eyes, sappy smile, and tears overflowing.
In the past, “Fangirling” resulted in several accidents, including injuries both to fans and celebrities, but overall it subsists as an innate part of society, rather than a problem. It lives within the human race as a fire triggered and ignited by certain people, living distinct publicized lifestyles. “People have “fangirled” for years; it just wasn’t called that. It’s at an all time high and on another level because celebrities now have Twitter and Instagram accounts where they let us see into their private lives more than ever before,” Radio DJ Alex Clark said, exemplifying the extent of platforms where triggers activate.
Truth, a company dedicated to exposing lies of the tobacco industry, currently promotes a campaign called “Finish It” to eliminate cigarettes for good. In frequently shown commercials, they acknowledge “fangirling” through the use of images. After showing a multitude of well-known celebrities smoking cigarettes, the commercial progresses with a photograph of teenage girls crying over those celebrities. The point of the photograph in the commercial exists to show that Truth holds nothing against those smoking; in fact they remain fans. This, with trending hash-tags on Twitter such as #fangirlproblems, subsist as additional sources relaying the popular cultural phenomenon of the act of “fangirling.” Whether crying uncontrollably, fainting, screaming, or other irrepressible actions, within everyone lives a “fan girl,” but its dominance depends on socialized individual desires and admirations.